• Home
  • About Me
  • Life
  • Reading
  • Gardening
  • Subscribe by Email
  • Referral Codes

Kimberussell.com

a blog by Kim Russell

May 1, 2004

Guest blog

Dear Kim,

It’s me…your Pampered Chef Pizza Stone. I’m writing on behalf of all of your cook and bakeware that you packed away weeks ago in preparation for your impending move. Which is two weeks from today, by the way.

You THOUGHT that you’d be getting ahead by packing so early, didn’t you? You THOUGHT you were uber and smiled smugly as you taped the lid. You wielded your bubble wrap and packing tape like a real champ.

Well, fat-ass, as the song goes, “Who’s Sorry Now?” Remember the sinking feeling you had when you tried to look for a baking sheet to heat up your Margaritaville Calypso Coconut Shrimp for Survivor? We had a good laugh at that one.

Enterprising girl that you are, you thought that you’d merely improvise and make a cookie sheet out of a few layers of aluminum foil. Except…it’s here with me.

In the box.

At the bottom of the stack.

So now you’ve resorted to eating caramel and chocolate coated apples from the candy store around the corner, convincing yourself that you’re eating real fruit. And muttering publicly that you’d be having salads if you didn’t pack away your stuff.

The last time I checked, Blondie, (if that is what your current state can be called) you don’t need a cooling rack to make a salad. Just FYI.

See you in two weeks, sucker.

Fondly,
Pizza Stone.

Posted In: Home and Family · Tagged: cooking, house, humor, moving

Previous Post Menstrua returns
Next Post Tying up the loose ends

Hello!

About Me

I've been blogging for over twenty (2 decades! 2-0!) years and I'm apparently one of the few over-50 female bloggers who haven't sold out to THE MAN yet; hence this blog remains quirky, homespun, and unprofitable. No big. However, if you're from Disney, Doritos, or Dave Matthews Band, I'm open to talk about selling out.

I live in Southern New Jersey with my husband WM, and our dog Murphy. I'm an adult who likes Disney but not a Disney Adult. I used to work a fun (really!) office job in Philadelphia, but since March of 2020 I'm a work from home hermit. So if you're looking for a childless, slightly round, marginally boring GenX woman's blog to follow, you've come to the right place! :)

Subscribe to my posts via email

A weekly email that will contain links to that week's posts.

Archives

Goodreads

Kimberly's bookshelf: read

The Duke and I
liked it
The Duke and I
by Julia Quinn
Wherever You Go, There You Are: Mindfulness Meditation in Everyday Life
liked it
Wherever You Go, There You Are: Mindfulness Meditation in Everyday Life
by Jon Kabat-Zinn
Spare
really liked it
Spare
by Prince Harry
tagged: memoir, own-ebook, and nonfiction
Well-Read Black Girl: Finding Our Stories, Discovering Ourselves
really liked it
Well-Read Black Girl: Finding Our Stories, Discovering Ourselves
by Glory Edim
The Guest List
really liked it
The Guest List
by Lucy Foley

goodreads.com

Pinterest

Visit my profile on Pinterest.
Privacy Policy

“I am I because my little dog knows me.” – G. Stein

We are still in office once a month and although I We are still in office once a month and although I’ve become used to life in soft pants and slippers it’s still nice to see the coworkers in person.
When I was receiving the new Covid booster today I When I was receiving the new Covid booster today I happily told the pharmacist “shoot it into my veins!” and in the most pharmacist way ever, he replied, “well, it’s an intramuscular injection.” #boosted #thankyouscience
When not planted on a chia pet, chia seeds grow in When not planted on a chia pet, chia seeds grow into beautiful and lush little plants.
At the @phillies game — #ringthebell ! #phillies At the @phillies game — #ringthebell ! #phillies
The #garden is slowly starting to produce. Not the The #garden is slowly starting to produce. Not the best year but better than last year. Potatoes anyone?
I will not spend money to try and grab a plush Bob I will not spend money to try and grab a plush Bob Ross. I will not spend money to try and grab a plush Bob Ross. I will not …
Load More... Follow on Instagram

Copyright © 2023 Kimberussell.com · Theme by 17th Avenue