Talk therapy gone wrong
Me: I’m having a problem with how I react to a woman who obviously doesn’t work at my building, but takes the free shuttle to the building from City Hall. She’s older and has a cane and STILL I silently rage when she gets on the bus.
WM: Are you sure she doesn’t work there?
Me: Positive. She gets off at the TV station door and then crosses the street to the Community College. I get so mad and I shouldn’t. It doesn’t affect me at all. And if I did say something, the shuttle drivers would get in trouble and they’d ask all of us for our work ID before boarding. It’s stupid and I should be bigger than this.
WM: I’d strike up a conversation with her.
Me: Huh?
WM: Hi! Are you new to the building? I haven’t seen you in the lobby before.
Me: “That’s because I don’t work there, fucker. I work at the Community College!”
WM: Nooo…
Me: “And take your shuttle because I found it on the GRIFTERNET, asshole!”
WM: Noooooo…
Me: HEEHEHEHEHHHEEEEHEEE.
WM: (pause) … “I stole my cane from a real handicapped person!”
Me: “It’s filled with bags of cocaine that I sell to the college kids! HEEHEEHEEHEEHEE”
WM: “It’s actually baking soda!”
Me: “I stand near the Honduran food truck and call ICE to try to get the employees deported!”
WM: “I’m making America Great Again! One stolen bus ride at a time!”
(pause)
Me: God I hope I don’t see her tomorrow.
Epilogue: this was set to post last Thursday, and lo and behold, that morning the shuttle manager came on the shuttle and reiterated that the shuttle was for my building only. He asked anyone from the community college to raise their hands. Four people did, including the woman above. And then he made them all get off the shuttle. One of the college employees started screaming at the DRIVER, who had nothing to do with this. It was awkward. Let the record show that in the end I was the bigger person and did NOT rat these people out. But someone else sure did.
Lesson: If you’re grifting a ride on a free shuttle, get off at the main entrance of the building and walk the 1 block back to your own.
I think she felt like the drivers complained, when in reality someone lousier than I did. They're not on anymore…