I live in New Jersey

Friday 5: The Whole Trial Is Out of Order!
Friday 5: Just Wing It
Friday 5: Regionalism

Friday 5: The Whole Trial Is Out of Order!

Happy Friday 5 on a Saturday! This is a day late because … wait for it … I went out again last night. This time was happy hour with my mom and my aunt who is recently back from a multi-year stint on Kwajalein Atoll. Go look it up. It’s very far away from New Jersey. It’s been an incredibly social week for me and is shaping up to be an incredibly social month.

I went back to work on Thursday to this…

cubicle decorated for birthday

My job is great! I hope it never changes!

and then 10 minutes later my A+, understanding, would-be-subordinate-to-him-again manager of 6.5 years told me that he’s leaving TNP at the end of the month. I spent the last two days like this:

beaker from the muppets

*insert endless meep*

And that’s that. Change is inevitable, even when things are going REALLY WELL DAMMIT.

Time for the Friday 5. This week’s theme is The Whole Trial is Out of Order! Let’s get to it.

4. What’s to look forward to in the fourth quarter of 2018?
We have a Walt Disney World trip coming up between now and the end of the year! I’m very excited. I went from going multiple times a year to going once every 2 years and that’s okay. A LOT changes in 2 years so we’re guaranteed to always see something new.

believe in something meme, related to Disney vacation costs

Found on Facebook. I’m not anti-Kaepernick.

2. What’s something at which you’d like a second chance?
If I was punished somehow by being returned to my freshman year of high school, I’d like another shot at the Qualitative Physical Science class that I dropped before the first quarter was out because I was getting a D. I was only 14 and thought a D would ruin my life. Now that I know it’s not the case, I wonder if it eventually would have clicked. Switching out of that class (and adjusting my schedule accordingly) meant that I fell out of sync with the small group of friends I had at the time.

1. What’s something in which you took first place?
Every family Easter Egg hunt from age 10 until the embarrassing age I stopped.

5. Who had an especially good fifth film, fifth book, or fifth album?
I’m drawing a blank on this one. I usually quit series early on because I get an “okay, I’m good with this franchise ending on this note” and walk away. It’s how I managed to quit watching Scandal after a few seasons. I’ll turn to WM for guidance, because he finishes EVERYTHING.

WM: Tom Waits’s fifth album is good. Blue Valentine. It has several good songs that I enjoy, up to and including Somewhere from West Side Story.
Me: Was Tom a Jet or a Shark?
WM: I don’t know. (continues on about Tom Waits and liking his original album best and that’s not really a thing that Tom Waits fans agree on)

3. When did you last feel like a third wheel?
Anytime I’m the woman in a conversation about kids. I often get the “but your dogs are your kids” which feels like being handed a consolation prize of Turtle Wax instead of a shiny sportscar with California emissions. I often think “certainly there is something else to talk about yes” but really it’s no. I’m not even hurt about it anymore. I have very well-waxed vehicles, though, so win-win.

Today it’s raining, which is autumn in New Jersey in a nutshell. Which is okay. I’ll have time to practice on my sewing machine which I haven’t done all summer because I’ve been outside. I’m trying to make reusable coffee cup sleeves. If that goes well, my next task is canvas shopping bags.

Friday 5: Just Wing It

Happy Sunday! To wind up “Operation Use a Bunch of my PTO this Summer” I don’t go back until work until Thursday.

I actually went OUT Friday night. Out. Past 11. I went to Atlantic City with Mom and my sibling who doesn’t read this blog and we had a great time.

Thinking I look all trendy but actually looking tired.

It was just like the old days, and even though a taking a family trip to AC to gamble sounds dysfunctional, well, we grew up okay. Some families go to singalongs or campouts. (Or campouts where they all sang.) Mine took me to play craps.

Fact: I love playing craps. Last night, after I dropped my 4 $20s on the table to buy in, a man dropped TWENTY ONE-HUNDRED-DOLLAR-BILLS on the table.

And on my roll I threw a five (point), a six, an ten and then a seven.

LEARN CRAPS WITH KIM: You have to put in the minimum bet to play. On a person’s first throw of the dice, if they throw a 2, 3, or 12, that’s craps and everyone loses that come-out bet. If they throw a 7 or 11 and you’re not playing asshole bets (long story), you win. Any other number they throw becomes the point, and your goal (if you’re not playing the asshole way) is for them to roll that number again before they throw a seven. Seven ends the game. You can also bet money on other numbers that you want them to hit before they throw a seven. You can also bet on different ways to hit a number, like rolling two fours to make an 8. I’ve found plenty of ways to lose money at the craps table. I’m good at it!

While I lost $30, he lost about $400 so I guess you can count that as me striking out mightily against the rich. While really being jealous because I’d love to dress up like Janet Snakehole and toss 2K on a craps table.

Yesterday WM and I were determined to earn the Apple Fitness National Parks Challenge Badge, which required a 50 minute workout. We went to the mall (air conditioned, flat, smells like Cinnabon) and walked three miles. And then we came home and walked the dogs. I was destroyed by the end of the day. But we earned this:

Yes, it’s not really a badge, but a picture of a badge. Don’t care.

Apple would make a killing if they could sell these badges as pins.

Time for the Friday 5. This week’s theme is Just Wing It. Let’s get to it!

1. What’s something for which you are waiting your tern?
I keep telling WM that I want to get a summer off from work one year while he goes to work, but I don’t think that’s ever going to happen. Still, a woman can dream.

2. What have you lately gone cuckoo for?
This year I fell in love with my humble herb garden. I’m going to try to extend it into fall/winter with beets, lettuce, and garlic.

3. What’s got you feeling down?
End of summer blues. But this year I’m going to try and make this fall better, or at least not hate fall as much.

4. What’s something you acquired that was unexpectedly cheep?
Nothing. Everything we get is unexpectedly expensive. (expenguinsive?)

5. What’s that fowl smell?
Likely one of the dogs. Sorry.

Today I’m hitting up the Americans of Conscience Checklist, drying out the parsley from my raised garden (getting ready to plant lettuce), sitting out with books, and maybe dorking with the sewing machine.

And fitting in a workout, because the Fitness App says I have a 13-day streak going and I hate to lose.

From McSweeney’s: Although He Has Made Zero Effort to Make Amends, It Is Time to Bring Steve the Masturbator Back to Our Office

Friday 5: Regionalism

Happy Friday! This is my last Summer Friday of the summer (weeps, gnashes teeth) so I spent it the way I tried to spend every Summer Friday – down the shore.


I made that animated gif! It’s 1994 all over again!

basic beach … collage

We got home around 3. I took a shower, had some fast food for dinner and parked myself outside with a stack of magazines to let my hair dry naturally to give it some beachy waves.

Left: What I think my hair looks like when I let my it air-dry.
Right: What my hair actually looks like when I let it air-dry.


Time for the Friday 5! This week’s theme is regionalism, which looks to be interesting. Let’s get to it!

1. What regional colloquialism in your area would baffle people from elsewhere?

For anyone new, I live in Southern New Jersey, a quick 20 minute train ride from Fluffya — I mean Philadelphia. The big regional word lately is jawn. It’s a word you can drop in for any noun you’d like. I’m all up in this jawn. I gotta get some of that jawn. That jawn I linked explains more.

2. What’s something you call by a name that differs from what most people in your region call it?

The train I take to work is called the PATCO High Speedline. When I was a kid it was called the Speedline. Today, most riders call it PATCO, like they’d refer to SEPTA in Philly or BART in San Francisco. I still call it the Speedline though, because old habits die hard.

3. What’s a normal food in your region that people in other regions might be weirded out by?

People from elsewhere seem to be weirded out by Jersey’s pork roll and the region’s scrapple. I think every region has their own weird meat product, though.

4. What’s something in your area with an official name almost nobody refers to it by?
Many people still call ATMs MAC machines, because the first version of it here was called the Money Access Center.

5. What are the names of some convenience stores in your area?
7-11 has always been around. Royal Farms is staking a claim. But South Jersey’s heart is already taken by one. Wawa. Home of Hoagiefest (which sadly ended two weeks ago). Where the area’s rich and poor rub shoulders as they pour themselves delicious coffee every morning.

I love Wawa.

This is day one of a four-day weekend. It’s going to be great, and I am going to be a hurting pup in September when I end up having to work five-day weeks again.

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