I love the Internet

The One with the Unfriending

June 4, 2020
unfriended, in the Friends television show font
So no one told you life was gonna be this way?

We’ve known each other for a long time but we’re from an era where when you lost touch, you truly lost touch. Because of that I was initially delighted to get back in touch via social media. And for years it was fine. You were always a meme sharer, but they were harmless and funny.

I don’t know if it was Donald Trump’s cult of personality or that new church you started attending but hoo boy. You kept communicating primarily by meme but the memes turned dark. Fear of immigrants, fear of oppression toward Christians in the US, fear of guns being taken away. MAGA all day long. Sniffs of derision toward younger people, veiled cracks at minorities, and even those messed up reminiscences of when it was socially acceptable to beat kids. But like everyone else who posts that, you’re too chickenshit to say point-blank whether or not you hit your own kids because you know it’s wrong.

You preach that people need to learn to pull themselves up by their own bootstraps, but you attempted to crowdfund for an expense that, if you were as pulled together as you expect everyone else to be, you should have had handled because you’re a goddamn adult. You complained bitterly yet vaguely about unfair treatment of you and of your family by OTHERS. And OTHERS were always, always wrong.

The memes and opinions kept coming all day long. And every third or fourth post would be about how we should all accept that everyone has their own opinion and should shut up and still be friends anyway NO MATTER WHAT.

I have friends with differing opinions. But honestly, if they texted/emailed/posted/called me/visited and spouted their opinions over and over every 3 hours and then at least once a day say that I should shut up and listen anyway, I don’t think we’d be friends any longer.

I handle differing opinions well, and I’m probably better behaved than I should be, mostly because of the voice that tells me not to upset people or disagree out loud or cause problems. I have many people in my life whom I disagree with on issues. But none of them are systematically obnoxious about it every single day. By nature, I’m very slow to “cancel.” So I unfollowed your posts instead.

I checked in on you the other day because I wanted to be sure you and your family were fine in this pandemic hot mess that we’re in. And your wall was covered in Covid conspiracy theory shit. How you won’t wear a mask because you’re not afraid and that God has you covered. The government is taking away your freedom by asking you to protect others. The vaccines are going to be bad and damage people. It’s Bill Gates’s fault. The government is trying to break churches by banning services during Covid.

I typed, “THIS government? Trying to destroy churches and businesses? THIS one. This government?! And because you are the most CHRISTIAN of CHRISTIANS you should have already known that the man Himself said, ‘For where two or three gather in my name, there am I with them.’ Matthew 18:20. I was raised Catholic and even *I* know Jesus said it because it’s in red. (Memester), you’d have crumbled during the times when Christians had to hide to worship.”

But I didn’t post at all. You’re just too far gone. Instead, I quietly unfriended.

And given the grievous state of the nation right now, a nation on fire because a White police officer in Minnesota knelt on a restrained Black man’s neck until he died WHILE ON CAMERA, I’m reallllly glad we’re done. I’m sure you’re righteously posting ALL DAY NOW from your sofa about All Lives and the Cop Flag and how you’re glad you moved out of our shithole liberal state and congratulating the president for exemplifying leadership by turning the White House lights out and hiding in a bunker.

All the while you’re hiding too. Not only from the truth, but from anybody who doesn’t think exactly like you. And I am fucking done with people who demand I listen to them while simultaneously refusing to listen to not only me but to anybody else.

By the way, that’s my opinion, so you should just deal with it.

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  • Steve "Kestrel" Hall June 4, 2020 at 10:08 am

    LOVE THIS! (And your previous post, as well.)

    And yes, we’re doing fine here. Hoping to visit the granddaughters in September, but otherwise keeping a low profile.

    Stay safe, stay well.

  • Susie Arnold June 5, 2020 at 8:59 am

    Very good post. I’m in the same position, and have already unfriended some because I can’t have an intelligent discussion with them. I’ve also started limiting my facebook time because I’ve realized that you can’t have a meaning full discussion on it. And the memes from both sides are driving me crazy!! Makes me feel like everyone is more virtuous than me, and they are lording it over me.

    • Kimberly June 20, 2020 at 9:31 am

      Facebook isn’t fun anymore!

  • Kay R.D. June 6, 2020 at 7:08 pm

    I unfriended quite a few people. I can handle differing opinions but not when they are views that perpetuate stereotype and racist ideology. Sigh.

    You are doing good friend and I hope you are keeping safe.

    • Kimberly June 20, 2020 at 9:30 am

      Thank you. I feel like tolerance is only allowed on one side. Like, I have to be patient with others, but they can immediately call me wrong. Eh. I hope you’re safe too!