Excuse me, where's the toothpaste department?
Yikes. That's kinda scary right there.
I had a dream that I was traveling somewhere and one of the things I *had* to do is visit Osmond’s — a giant megastore owned by Donny and Marie Osmond. It was a HUGE store indeed and to facilitate moving through it, the carpet had a (harmless) pulsing electrical charge that would harmlessly move you along.
“We’re in your dreams, Kim!”
Picture it as a cross between a magic carpet at a ski lift and one of those crazy pulsing ab belts.
Every time you’d enter a new department, a hologram of Donny and Marie would pop up and tell you where you were.
Donny (dressed as a fisherman): Welcome to the camping section. And if you need an expert, nobody knows camp like my sister, Marie.
Marie (dressed in hiking clothes): Shut up, Donny!
Donny (dressed as a butcher): Now you’re in meats and dairy. And if you need an expert, nobody knows about hamming it up like my sister, Marie.
Marie (dressed as a farmer): Shut up, Donny!
I ended up buying a lawn chair and a package of dinner rolls. The store logo consisted of a giant stylized smile inside of an “O” and I remember being really happy that I got to see the store.
Wow. You really are 40 aren’t you? Because nobody much younger or much older than that would have Donny and Marie cemented that firmly in their deep subconscious!
Yikes. That’s kinda scary right there.