The Vomit Comet

Mmm…feeling better. Computer room is painted with one coat. BvP is exhausted and stamina’s not my thing today, so we’ll adjourn the home improvment project for a few days.

I’m still wiggy about going back to work tomorrow. It’s the guilt thing. Plus all the emails/voicemail that I’m sure have piled up. I don’t check work email on the weekends anymore unless a big project’s happening. All in the name of work/life balance.

Plus I was supposed to place a Longaberger basket order for someone’s book party on Thursday. So yes, I can be sick and miss out on the conference calls and the informally scheduled workflow meeting. But you don’t want to piss off the Longaberger lady.

Coworker S comes back to work tomorrow. I need to swing by work for 15 minutes tonight to get all of my junk off of her desk and back into my office.

***
As previously mentioned…the Vomit Comet story.

A few Januaries ago I went into work feeling queasy. But I decided to tough it out anyway. By lunch, though, I was really feeling bad. So I decided to call it quits and go home.

I was driving my 1997 lapis blue Dodge Neon at the time, (named “Funky Blue”) and was getting stuck in lunchtime traffic. Plus, there was snow on the ground so it was slow going anyway.

About a mile from home, it was ‘time.’ I had a Hallmark shopping bag in the front seat from a last-minute card purchase. It was a sturdy one with plastic handles. There was no shoulder to the road, but luckly we were at a red light. I did my business in the shopping bag.

Boy, was I proud! I held the bag with my right hand and beamed. Not a drip outside. The perfect puke, so to speak.

Then, as I was pulling into the apartment parking lot, the wet bottom of the bag tore and the contents therein fell all over the passenger side floor.

I was feeling so sick again that I couldn’t bear cleaning it up. So I threw a bunch of snow on top of it in hopes I’d freeze it solid. Then I went upstairs and threw myself on the sofa. (incidentally, BvP came home 30 minutes later from work…just as ill as I was)

The weather warmed up, and I ended up having to HOSE out the front of my car.

Thus “Funky Blue” became the “Vomit Comet” until I traded it away. And I no l longer go to work queasy. 🙂

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