Tonight I joined Curves. Why? Because I have a vacation coming up in October and my YMCA treadmill regimen bores me to tears. Oh…and I purposefully bought all my vacation clothes one size smaller. I’m kicking myself now.
Curves is a women-only fitness center with a workout designed to get you out in 30 minutes. There are different ‘stations’ arranged in a circle. Resistance machines alternate with these neat square bouncy-type boards that you can jog in place, bounce, jump or step on. Crazy hyper dance mixes of faded pop tunes (Ray of Light, Dancing Queen, Don’t Speak) play over the sound system.
Every few minutes, a disembodied woman’s voice says, “Move to the next station now.” Everyone quits what they’re doing and moves clockwise to the next piece of equipment. So you work a muscle group…then do some cardio…then move to the next group, etc. Every 10 or so minutes the voice tells you to take your pulse. It gives you 10 seconds to count. Then you compare your number with the number nearest your age on a large chart to see how your heart rate is. (I rewrote that sentence three times and it still reads awkwardly. Sorry.) Newsflash: I’m closer to 35 now than to 30!! Two trips around the circle and you’re done.
It looks like a total joke. A breeze. A snap. But by the time I was finished, I felt like I had run the gauntlet. (Valkyrie…your life force is running out!) The 60 year old woman a few stations ahead was barely winded! Bitch.
The program is aimed for women in their 40s and above, judging by the photos on the wall and the promotional information. But that’s okay with me. I have the physical activity level of a nursing home resident these days anyway.
I plan on going there Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Saturday mornings. Plus yoga on Wednesdays. Plus walking Max daily. My body despises me tonight.
Late night…I’ve been taking work home to keep up, and I’m still behind. Tomorrow I’ll whip up some ads, follow-up on some pending tech issues, and schedule some meetings. (Yay! More meetings!) Oh, have I mentioned I’m also working on TWO CPO site redesign prototypes? One to roll into place by 9/30 to meet a corporate deadline (an interstitial design, if you will) and the REAL one to launch not long after? Oh, and did I mention my Online Manager Biennial meeting is in 3 weeks down at Corporate?
(This blog brought to you by Xanax. Xanax…better living through chemistry!)
The cats are meowing for me to come up to bed, so I shall. G’night. 🙂
Dave says
What I like most about Curves are the names of the mens’ knock-offs that have popped up around my neighborhood.
They are named Cuts and–wait for it–Bendz. I kid you not.
And hey! Ease up on the old people! My father-in-law is almost 70 and that bastard–we call him Old Navy as he was a sailor in his younger years–never sits still and won’t break a sweat. God love ‘im.
Good luck to ya!
dr. dave says
(PS… that wasn’t ME)