Annual Review (self)

December 13, 2004

I gave a 45 minute presentation to our sales staff today. The digital projector needs to cool before I can put it away…so it’s a good time to jot down my thoughts.

I’ve been at my “Junior Management Executive Barbie” role for a year and a day now. Every misstep (and boy, have there been missteps) has been a learning experience. Every triumph has been savored. It’s been challenging, and I’ve learned so much in this past year. There’s a LONG distance to go. I need to be better organized, and more confident. Take today, for example. I presented a product that I KNOW, yet I was still trembly and nervous. To be a better manager, I need to believe in myself a bit more. That confidence should project outward.

Fear sucks. It’s crippling, and because of it, I put off things that could be done right away. Honestly, what’s the worst thing I have to worry about here? If I get yelled at (which I haven’t been…yet) time still moves forward. Five pm still rolls around and I’ll still go home. If I get fired (even more unlikely, since I haven’t been yelled at…yet), then I pick up the pieces and move on.

So I’m looking into Toastmasters, to see if I can get help with the public speaking part. I know my stuff. (Mostly.) I just need to present it better. The thing with Toastmasters is…if I have troubles talking in front of strangers, it’s going to take a large surge of confidence to be able to GO TO A MEETING with strangers.

In other non-corporate news, the guest room is JUUUUUUUST about done. Which is good, since the guests are coming in 10 days. Mattress delivery is tonight between 4 and 6. Or is it 6 and 8? I just need to find bedding. And then clean the other 90% of the house that we’ve ignored while doing the guest room.

And my Santa hat is missing. It’s packed somewhere. I need it, because its magic will help me get my act together in 10 days. Cards need to be sent. Gifts need to be bought. Cookies need to be baked. Once I find my hat, it’ll all fall into place.

Okay. Projector is cool. Thanks for listening!

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