I love the Internet

I love all of your worst bands and I don't care.

August 4, 2014

An article has been making the rounds on my Facebook friends’ walls -LA Weekly’s Top 20 Worst Bands of All Time. (Google it if you want.) My friends are delightful and smart people so I have no idea why they’re talking about a 2 year old article.

Picture from the DMB show I attended two months ago. I am causing your life to be filled with music you hate. Ha!

Picture from the DMB show I attended two months ago. I am causing your life to be filled with music you hate. Ha!

They also think we should take in all of the undocumented kids (as do I, because part of me is a bleeding heart) and are very vocal about it (which I’m not, because the other part of me is a fiscal conservative who knows we don’t the money to do so and I can’t say “TAKE IN THE KIDS!” without knowing how we’d pull it off) but funnily I haven’t seen any of them open their doors yet for one of the kids or talk about sending money somewhere to help support the kids.

(watches Bloglovin’ followers drop from 1 to -5)

In addition to being old, this list is also designed to piss everyone off. Except me. Because I already knew that Dave Matthews Band was going to be number one, because nothing makes people who believe themselves to be music aficionados feel better about themselves than saying DMB sucks. Looking at that list, I own one or more albums from DMB, Hootie and the Blowfish, Spin Doctors, Pearl Jam, Black Eyed Peas, the Pussycat Dolls, Red Hot Chili Peppers and Oasis. But I laughed heartily when I saw DMB at number one. Because sucky bands can continuously fill giant outdoor amphitheaters and indoor concert halls all year long for years and years and years. I also laughed because New Kids on the Block is NOT on that list, meaning they are a better band than Wings, Phish, or Sex Pistols, right?

This was my passive-aggressive response to that list on FB.


But the passing around of this (old!) list is indicative of a behavior that I complained about last year around this time. Namely the gleeful shitting-upon of other people’s interests.

Does it injure your feelings when someone jams to Phish? No.

Does it injure that Phish fan’s feelings when you tell them you think their band sucks? There’s a good chance the answer is yes.

(Except for me, because I’m immune to that now. You hate my music and think Disney’s awful. Whatevs.)

So let’s make social media a better place and stop shitting on peoples’ favorite bands/tv shows/movies/vacation destinations.

Oh, and Frozen. Stop shitting on Frozen! It’s a kid movie! What the hell is wrong with you people, shitting on a kid movie??? I thought we wanted a country where every other little girl sings along to Idina Menzel?

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  • Dr. D. August 4, 2014 at 8:50 am

    Putting bands like Pearl Jam on a “Worst of All Time” list is disingenuously confrontational. Foreigner and Wings aren’t exactly one hit wonders, ffs. Is there a list of “Top-20 Most Flagrantly Trolly ClickBait Music Articles” we can add this to?

    (And if there is any band that is as easy target for critics to shit on than Dave Matthews, it’s RUSH, so…)

  • Brian Z August 4, 2014 at 10:11 am

    You are COMPLETELY RIGHT about all of it. It’s Wheaton’s Law: “Don’t be a dick.” Why is that simple principle the hardest thing for people to follow?