America's Saddest Christmas Tree

On Black Friday, we went to Walgreens because we saw this in the circular for $19.99. It’s a 4.5 foot prelit tree. In order to purchase it, you had to take a ticket to the register.

The cashier spoke about 50% English. (a rant for another day). She rang up the rest of my purchase, which may or may not have included padded insoles but neglected to scan the ticket. I politely pointed out to her that the ticket was for the tree I wanted. She scanned the ticket, put it in the bag and finished the transaction.

Um.

I politely explained to her that although she had to scan the ticket, someone had to get my tree. She called for the manager. Manager 1 arrived, looked at my ticket with a panicked expression, and said, “You bought a tree?”

Yes, yes I did.

Manager 2 comes out. “Is that a tree purchase?” he bellowed.
“She bought a tree!” Manager 1 replied nervously.
“I can go get the tree,” he reassured her. “What tree?”
She skittishly scanned the ticket. “M!” she yelled.

Three minutes later I was in posession of a measly 2 1/2 foot cardboard box. Inside that, America’s Saddest Christmas Tree.

Yes, there is ONE ornament on the tree. I feel like I should decorate it with losing lottery tickets and pictures of Jimmy Carter.