Dancing with the…stars?

August 16, 2006

ABC released the lineup for Season 3 of Dancing with the Stars. “Stars” in caps, pros in parenthesis.

TUCKER CARLSON (Elena Grinenko) – Y’know..I always liked this guy, even though Jon Stewart is right. He wears a bow tie, which earns him points in my book.

MONIQUE COLEMAN (Louis Van Amstel) – she’s from Disney’s “High School Musical” – a show that apparently I’m 25 years too old to even know exists.

SARA EVANS (Tony Dovolani) – Some country singer. Don’t know her, but Tony was Stacy’s partner last year. Hopefully he remembers that he’s there to make her look good, as opposed to how he partnered Stacy.

WILLA FORD (Maxsim Chmerkovskiy) – she sang “I wanna be bad with you.” Don’t know how dancy she is.

VIVICA A. FOX (Nick Kosovich) – I hope they go far because Nick has a cool Aussie accent. And I really like accents. Vivica was the hotness in Independence Day.

HARRY HAMLIN (Ashly Delgrosso) – ah…yes…Lisa Rinna’s hubby, so we’ll be seeing that kitten-on-ephedra-thick-lipped nutjob every week again. Mom says he used to dance professionally so maybe Ashly has half a chance.

JOE LAWRENCE (Edyta Sliwinska) – WHOA! It’s Joey from BLOSSOM! WHOA! Remember, he made his big start in the biz by being an annoying TAPDANCING kid…hella dance experience there WHOA! Oh, sorry…JOE from Blossom. WHOA!

MARIO LOPEZ (Karina Smirnoff) – Slater from Saved by the Bell? He also has dancy experience, as he used to be in Kids Incorporated. With Fergie from Black Eyed Peas.

SHANNA MOAKLER (Jesse DeSoto) – Yay! We can watch the ravages of divorce on one of the dancers as the season goes on!

EMMITT SMITH (Cheryl Burke) – Yay Cheryl’s back! Unfortunately, she’s saddled with the athlete this time.

JERRY SPRINGER (Kym Johnson) – Jerry! Jerry! Jerry! Until I find another fave, I want Jerry to take it all. Can I start spelling my name Kym?

But the saddest news is that my redheaded Russian girl-crush, Anna TreBOOONskaya, isn’t on this season. She and her husband still compete on the circuit, so I’m sure the timing wasn’t good for her.

Off to finish getting ready for work!

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  • dr. dave August 16, 2006 at 8:30 am

    You seem to have a bit of an unhealthy obsession with this show.

    And as for “High School Musical”… it’s not about age, it’s about proximity to the 5-12 year old set, because despite being quite a few years your senior, I can actually sing EVERY FUCKING SONG from the damned thing.

    “Livin’ in my ow-wn worrrld… didn’t unnn-der-staaaand….”

  • Tommy August 16, 2006 at 8:45 am

    Sara Evans is a rising star in Country Music. I’m not a Country fan, but she had pretty big hit two years ago with “Suds in the Bucket”. She’s a cutie and for a while I thought she was going to do what Shania Twain and Faith Hill did and crossover.

  • Ani August 16, 2006 at 10:07 am

    I love high school musical.

  • Mara-Jade August 16, 2006 at 3:05 pm


    I feel like I am stalking you, but this is public info, so I’m not! I used to play AC with you, back in the day. I am married to Bruce Wayne from the game. You were always nice in AC, so I checked out your cookie cam a few years back, and then I was a fan 🙂 Yes, you have a fan.

    I just wanted to let you know that, even though I don’t personally know you, I wish you well in this new adventure that you are embarking on.

    BUT, I also wanted to out myself as a Dancing with the starsaholic! I can’t wait for this season. I think I even have brucey talked into watching it with me. Even though I heard something about playboy model in his mutterings about the show…..hmm. Anywho, hang in there! Just remember you have a cool red Ikea chair, the world is yours.

  • Jackie Josephs August 28, 2006 at 7:29 pm

    I just want to inform you that Cheryl Burke is NOT and was NEVER Jesse DeSoto’s partner, I am am Jesse’s partner and have been for the last 5 years. Just thought I would clear that up. Thanks, Jackie Josephs

  • Kimberly August 28, 2006 at 10:48 pm

    Eeek…sorry, Jackie! A little Googling would have told me her partner was Jose DeCamps instead. I got the names messed up. I’ll edit that out, and good luck to you and Jesse!