ABC released the lineup for Season 3 of Dancing with the Stars. “Stars” in caps, pros in parenthesis.
TUCKER CARLSON (Elena Grinenko) – Y’know..I always liked this guy, even though Jon Stewart is right. He wears a bow tie, which earns him points in my book.
MONIQUE COLEMAN (Louis Van Amstel) – she’s from Disney’s “High School Musical” – a show that apparently I’m 25 years too old to even know exists.
SARA EVANS (Tony Dovolani) – Some country singer. Don’t know her, but Tony was Stacy’s partner last year. Hopefully he remembers that he’s there to make her look good, as opposed to how he partnered Stacy.
WILLA FORD (Maxsim Chmerkovskiy) – she sang “I wanna be bad with you.” Don’t know how dancy she is.
VIVICA A. FOX (Nick Kosovich) – I hope they go far because Nick has a cool Aussie accent. And I really like accents. Vivica was the hotness in Independence Day.
HARRY HAMLIN (Ashly Delgrosso) – ah…yes…Lisa Rinna’s hubby, so we’ll be seeing that kitten-on-ephedra-thick-lipped nutjob every week again. Mom says he used to dance professionally so maybe Ashly has half a chance.
JOE LAWRENCE (Edyta Sliwinska) – WHOA! It’s Joey from BLOSSOM! WHOA! Remember, he made his big start in the biz by being an annoying TAPDANCING kid…hella dance experience there WHOA! Oh, sorry…JOE from Blossom. WHOA!
MARIO LOPEZ (Karina Smirnoff) – Slater from Saved by the Bell? He also has dancy experience, as he used to be in Kids Incorporated. With Fergie from Black Eyed Peas.
SHANNA MOAKLER (Jesse DeSoto) – Yay! We can watch the ravages of divorce on one of the dancers as the season goes on!
EMMITT SMITH (Cheryl Burke) – Yay Cheryl’s back! Unfortunately, she’s saddled with the athlete this time.
JERRY SPRINGER (Kym Johnson) – Jerry! Jerry! Jerry! Until I find another fave, I want Jerry to take it all. Can I start spelling my name Kym?
But the saddest news is that my redheaded Russian girl-crush, Anna TreBOOONskaya, isn’t on this season. She and her husband still compete on the circuit, so I’m sure the timing wasn’t good for her.
Off to finish getting ready for work!