Things I have discovered in my first month of homeownership

  • We use THAT much water?
  • Pergo + feet in socks = fun!
  • Too much exposure to yellow and blue plaid wallpaper causes homicidal tendencies
  • Recycling, though beneficial, is a huge pain in the ass.
  • Pergo + hyperactive small dog = more fun!
  • Lawn envy does, in fact, exist.
  • Letting a dog crap in another person’s garden and not cleaning it up is one of the basest forms of human behavior.
  • Especially if it’s YOUR dog and MY garden.
  • There are no shortage of home security companies willing to call me.
  • Pergo + hyperactive small dog + tennis ball = tears of laughter.
  • It takes a lot less energy to clean a large house weekly than a small apartment monthly
  • Thirty years is a VERY long time.
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