Friday 5: FMK

Happy Friday! Today is National Bologna Day (my bologna has a first name, but you probably know it) and National Food Day (I’m a fan). I’m writing this from my sofa, and after this I will begin my first Postcards to Voters assignment in a long time.

I’ll be writing to voters in my own backyard. This postcard campaign is for Mikie Sherrill who is running for Governor. I had just said I was taking the year off of activism, but PtV only pitches in when the race is close and I would really like to keep NJ blue.

When New Jerseyans say they vote Republican because they want to fix our state, but they have giant houses, shore property, boats, and cars to spare, I have to wonder — how exactly are they currently suffering? What are they trying to fix? Clearly, life here has been good for them.

I dropped off my mail-in ballot earlier this week. Fingers crossed.

Here comes the Friday 5! This is a fun one: FMK. Which means fuck, marry, kill. It’s a little game where you’re given three options. You can choose one to have fun with, one to commit to for life (says the once-divorced woman), and one to kill. Let’s goooo!

1. Knitting, photography, flower arranging: which do you f***, which do you marry, and which do you kill?
   I’ll fuck flower arranging. It has a splashy payoff. Definitely marry photography. I’m not a great photographer but I will always love documenting my life. And we’ll going to kill knitting — I am terrible at knitting and instead of relaxing me, it hurts my hands and makes me angry. We’ll take out crochet as well, maybe by accident, maybe it just got caught in the crossfire. I’ll never tell.
   
2. A walk on the beach, a cup of coffee at a sidewalk cafe, a movie by yourself in a cinema half full: which do you f***, which do you marry, and which do you kill?
   Fuck coffee at the cafe, marry the walk on the beach (that should be no surprise to any of you), and kill the movie by myself. I can watch movies at home.
   
3. Hot sauce, soy sauce, ketchup: which do you f***, which do you marry, and which do you kill?
   Oh boy. I enjoy all three of these condiments and use them regularly. But rules are rules. We are going to fuck hot sauce, marry ketchup, and very sadly kill soy sauce. Ketchup goes with everything.
   
4. Polka music, reggae music, death metal music: which do you f***, which do you marry, and which do you kill
   Fuck polka music, marry reggae, and kill death metal.
   
5. Murder mysteries, romantic comedies, psycho-thrillers: which do you f***, which do you marry, and which do you kill?
   Fuck murder mysteries, marry romantic comedies, and kill the psycho-thrillers.
   

I’ll be back on Monday with … something. I’ve exhausted my backlog of drafts so we’ll have to replenish it this weekend. Let’s go write some postcards!