I don't carrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrre!

The following is a rant. It has reprehensibly bad language. You have been warned.

Apparently, people on Social Media are all about shitting on other people’s interests. Let’s take the Royal Baby, which it’s obvious that people all around the globe are excited about. Direct heirs (not spares) to the British throne come around once every 25-30 years. Like it or not, this is historical, and this child will undoubtedly be part of future British history syllabi. And people are pompously snorting “I don’t fucking carrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrre.”

But you know what? I don’t fucking carrrrrrrrrrrrrrrre about football, golf, running, Doctor Who, Game of Thrones, Firefly, Downton Abbey, anime/manga, running, Star Wars, Elder Scrolls, Rolling Stones, running, Justin Bieber, Jay-Z, Kanye, running, The Avengers, scrapbooking, your kid’s dance recital, skydiving, running, betta fish, Paleo, running or Monty Python.

Is this something that I would normally say on Facebook or Twitter? No! Because shitting all over other people’s interests IN FRONT OF THEM is such a juvenile way of trying to make yourself seem to be be above it all, when in essence you’re just as bad with your Phillies tattoo, your 26.2 sticker or the binder full of concert ticket stubs.

This isn’t just about the Royal Baby. It’s about any hobby or interest. You wouldn’t go to a bowling alley, stand in the middle of lanes filled with league bowlers and loudly say, “I think #bowling is for idiots.” But that’s what people do every single day on FB and Twitter. If you don’t give a shit about something or think it’s dumb, there is nothing forcing you to weigh in. We’ll know you don’t care by your lack of saying something about it.

The tipping point for this rant was a comment on Facebook: ‘any idiot with a uterus can give birth’ which is not only categorically untrue but a pretty fucking negative attitude to have. Every child, be it Baby Cambridge, North West, your own Kayden/Brayden/Zayden, or an underweight baby in the slums, should be welcomed with smiles and not eyerolling snark.

Because this is our shared life. This is not an episode of Who’s Line is it Anyway where you earn points for being a cynical dick. Must we all be cynical dicks about EVERYTHING ALL THE TIME?

The downside of “everyone can now publish their thoughts to the worrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrld!” is “Christ, not every fucking opinion about every fucking subject needs to be published to the world.”

PS: About the supermoon? IT’S THE MOON. WE ALL KNOW WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE. ALL ELEVENTY-HUNDRED PICTURES OF THE MOON ON FACEBOOK, TWITTER AND INSTAGRAM LOOKED THE SAME.

(mic drop)

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