The One Where Kim Gets Grumpy About OWS

May 3, 2012

The Occupy movement returned to Philadelphia Monday because as we all know, financial inequality is only worth protesting about when the weather is nice.

Oh, okay fine. It was because May 1 is International Worker’s Day.

So they decided to interfere with regular people who were trying to get their banking done.

At a Wells Fargo branch..

Two demonstrators were arrested following a scuffle in front of the bank’s ATM. Ralliers allegedly blocked a businessman trying to withdraw money, words were exchanged and the man sought help from the phalanx of cops.

What does OWS say?

According to participants, the confrontation was sparked when the businessman shoved an ATM card in one of the female protester’s mouths. “He obviously provoked us,” Philips said.

Yuh-huh. I’m sure that guy wasn’t provoked first at all by the mob surrounding him at an ATM.

Let me lay this down now. If anybody, OWS or not, tries to harass me as I try to take my money out of an ATM so I can buy a locally-raised free-range chicken for dinner* you’d best believe I’m going to talk back. I might not put my ATM card into a OWS protester’s mouth (ew! that poor ATM card!) but I’m not going to meekly accept your screaming at me just so you can feel like an edgy activist but only end up looking like a bully.

You want to protest crazy corporate law and banking bailouts? Great! I’M WITH YOU! The laws are neither written nor enacted at the local branch of a bank, or a mom and pop shop, or a subway station. You want to win the hearts and wallets of the typical American worker? Don’t harass us and while you’re at it, stop throwing bags of urine at cops. You can’t even claim something like that is heat of the moment. Few things have to be planned out more than peeing in a bag and taking it with you to a protest. Or seeing an empty bag blow by and think, “Hey, I’ll pee in that. And then I’ll hold onto it in case I need it at this crazy protest.”

All excerpts are via the Philly Metro paper, which beats out the C-P on the train I take every morning by at least 5 to 1:–two-arrests-made-at-occupy-philadelphia-may-day-march

*Ok, McDonald’s. Shut up.

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  • Dave May 3, 2012 at 8:56 am

    Again, they are never the aggressors. Never. And you can never make them one because they’ll twist the story and put the blame back on you.

    I’m just glad the hype has died down surrounding whatever it is they are for/against. And you know, if they really wanted to make a point around taxing the so-called 1%, they would be protesting outside stadiums since athletes are multimillionaires. There is at least $40M in salary on the field at any given time, possibly more.

    So why don’t they protest? Because a handful of occupiers (occupants?) is no match, verbally or physically, against a throng of sports fans. It’s easier to sit somewhere and wave signs and throw pee-bags. Gotcha.

  • BrianC May 3, 2012 at 9:50 am

    Do you remember in History when they taught us about people who marched to protest? Now that we’re all fat and lazy we just Occupy!

    I heard that joke somewhere and can’t remember where. 🙂

  • Opal @ Celebrate Life May 3, 2012 at 9:51 am

    I would like to think that the average American is against this type of lawlessness that has been displayed over the past several months.

    What’s really hilarious is when a celebrity (or some other person who has a lot of money) pops in to protest, aren’t they part of that 1% too?

    I agree, that these events have been planned, some news folks, mentioned that we’d be seeing these types of protests a few years ago; Glen Beck was one of them…