Well, this happened.
M asked if I had feelings about it and I’m not so sure. The bits and bobs didn’t do their jobs for me when I desperately wanted them to, so good riddance?
Because of the stupid infertility I vainly believed I deserved an easy transition and so far that has come to fruition. I do have hot flashes but because I was a person who ran cold her entire life this isn’t completely terrible. I’m not wearing two pair of socks to bed anymore. I’m not wearing two base layers under my hoodies anymore. I don’t break out in goosebumps from just walking past an air conditioned room’s open door anymore. This is all a net positive, and if it means I have to carry a little fan in my purse to keep myself cool then I’ll take it.
No insomnia yet, but sometimes I wake up between 2 and 4am for an hour. I just use that quiet time to plot my world domination and eventually I do fall back asleep. I have mood swings like I did as a teen but because I know myself better now than I did then, I’m managing them fine as well. Many of my hot flashes are triggered by enormous feelings so if I’m momentarily pissed off or sad or embarrassed or happy, then the fwoosh happens. The worst part has been the weird injuries. Something is always sore and if I am not proactive with rest or an anti-inflammatory the injury escalates quickly.
I did break down and buy a pair of readers because I’m tired of making typos and NOT catching them because I don’t ‘see’ them.
And the little black hair that grows from my chin has gone gray, making it less visible when I miss plucking it because I can’t see it. Another net positive.
Anyway, here’s to cronehood.
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