Don’t touch that dial (of Destiny!)

(Me, after reading an AskMetafilter question about watching streaming TV without a TV)

Me: A lot of these people are telling the OP not to use a Smart TV’s features because it collects your data. And, y’know, I don’t care about that. See what I’m watching, I don’t care. Years ago people clamored to be Nielsen families and voluntarily submitted data about their watching habits.

WM: “That house watches a lot of Indiana Jones!”

Me: I bet that your viewing habits alone were the reason why Dial of Destiny was made.

(flashback to a studio meeting in 2019)

“Harrison – er – Mr. Ford! We’re combing the aggregate Roku SmartTV data and we think there’s a market for a FIFTH Indiana Jones movie! You know that cable channel where we do nothing but air the four Indiana Jones movies frustratingly out of order? It’s popular! We can play the same movie back to back and people still watch!

And do you know how often the Indiana Jones movies are streamed? Look at this one house! This is just ONE house! I think we’re going to have a crowd winner!

This movie is going to be box office gold. Data doesn’t lie!

(June, 2023)

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