Happy New Year, friends! May it be kind to us all. Steamboat Willie is now part of the public domain so you’d better believe I’m using him here on the blog!
We consumed a good amount of holiday media between Christmas and New Year’s.
Movies:
This year all of them were on the Hallmark Channel. I don’t watch Hallmark Movies & Mysteries because I don’t want to have to think while consuming these fluffy movies.
A Merry Scottish Christmas: 2.5/5. Scott Wolf should forever play Lacey Chabert’s brother. My favorite character was the sister in law because she was 100% into the castle and the roles. Hamish deserves his own movie. This was slow and forgettable and the premise was unbelievable, even for a Hallmark Movie. (WM dissents and gives it a 4.)
Checkin’ it Twice: 4/5. She: high-powered NYC real estate agent. He: A 32yo hockey player who’s trying to make it to the NHL. He’s staying in her family’s guesthouse while he plays for the local hockey team. Of course the hockey element sucked me in, but hooo boy the execution wasn’t great. If you watch hockey, ignore the hockey in this movie. The couple was cute together, and I enjoyed that neither party had beef with each other for wanting to leave beautiful Idaho Fall for greener pastures.
Mystic Christmas: 3.5/5. She: a world-traveled marine veterinarian. He: a pizza shop owner in the small town she grew up in. They used to date. This one felt like a dozen therapists got drunk on spiked eggnog and wrote a Hallmark movie. The characters talk about avoidance! Introversion! Passive-aggressiveness! Being more/less communicative. I spent an inordinate amount of time trying to see if the actors and the seals were really on set at the same time. And are you really releasing a seal back into the wild mere days after a massive ear infection? Her Z-Pack wasn’t even finished!
Holiday Hotline: 5/5. She: chef from England temporarily living in Chicago and working a turkey hotline. He: an architect & single father who wants to learn how to cook. He is also in charge of renovating the building she’s living in. This was freaking adorable even if it was VERY OBVIOUSLY sponsored by Daisy Sour Cream. There was a real Nora Ephron movie vibe, and they are the cutest new couple I’ve seen so far.
Catch Me If You Claus: 4.5/5. She: a researcher at a local news station, determined to become an anchor someday. He: Santa’s hunky son on his first night on the job. Crime and hijinks ensue on Christmas Eve, and they bond over trying to solve a local crime spree. I went from “Santa can’t be sexy!” to “Hello, sexy Santa!”
Christmas Made to Order: 2.5/5. An oldie from 2018. She: a holiday decorator. He: a busy architect who is too busy being busy to deal with Christmas. His family is coming to spend Christmas with him but because he’s busy so he hires her to manage their Christmas. I couldn’t really get into it. The chemistry wasn’t there. (WM says 2.)
The Secret Gift of Christmas: 2/5. She: a professional shopper. He: A busy … construction foreman that restores old properties? I think? He’s also a mirthless widower single father and she’s helping him get Christmas gifts for his contacts and to get into the Christmas spirit. Except she wasn’t telling him what gifts she bought and she was a real stickler with trying to get him into a sport coat for his company Christmas party. I was ridiculously distracted by her clothing. It’s like Christmas meets Barbie meets Dita Von Teese.
Navigating Christmas: 3/5. She: a high-powered executive who is, alas, divorced AND mom to a teen. He: the owner of a lighthouse on St. Nicholas Island (no joke) who is mysteriously grumpy about Christmas. Her teenage son is really the most angsty teen I’ve seen on Hallmark, but only for the first 15 minutes. Featuring all of the usual small town Christmas shenanigans and grand theft larceny of a watercraft! There were a few plot points left unfinished.
Television Programs:
To me, a holiday special needs to be a stand-alone program or a formulaic variety show.
Christmas at Graceland: 3/5: I am not an Elvis fan, but I’m 100% a fan of Riley Keough taking control of the empire. It looked like a good number of the performances were live. The lighting and staging were GORGEOUS. Look at this!
Some performances were great. Post Malone continues to be an absolute joy. Kacey Musgraves is amazing. I still don’t know how to feel about Alanis Morrisette singing Last Christmas. I could have done without whatever Lainey Wilson was doing to open the show.
A Very Barry Christmas 4.5/5: Yes, Barry Manilow. This was an hour-long concert show, with Christmas songs, cheesy jokes, and some of Barry Manilow’s pop staples. Thanks to Mom playing his records over and over I knew all of the songs by heart. The audio-dubbing isn’t always perfect but this man is 80 and still giving it his all. His duet of Mandy/Could it be Magic with a video of his younger self is fantastic.
Hannah Waddingham Home for Christmas 5/5: WM is a HUGE Hannah Waddingham fan. He has announced that he would leave me on Christmas morning for her if he had the chance and could I really fault him? (We both have these lists.) Hannah Waddingham also has a very powerful singing voice and stage presence. This one was musical with the perfect amount of “oh, who is that at the door?” cheesiness that I adore in a good holiday special. If you liked Ted Lasso, watch this for the guest stars.
How the Grinch Stole Christmas (1966) 10/5: The classic. No others can possibly compare.
Did you watch any holiday movies or specials this year?
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