I could have fixed Star Wars Galactic Starcruiser

May 22, 2023

Hi. I’m Kim. I’m an adult who likes Disney, but not a Disney Adult, which is why we never even entertained the thought of spending $5,000 on two meager nights in Disney’s Star Wars themed hotel with 100 windowless rooms.

The Star Wars Galactic Starcruiser sign with a Sptrit Halloween banner photoshopped over it.
Fact about me: Spirit Halloween jokes are always winners. And if this is your meme, let me know and I’ll credit you or take it down.

After only being open a year, Disney announced a few days ago that the last “voyage” of the Starcruiser will be Sept 28-30. The reviews (many by comped Disney influencers) were good, but the hotel was rarely full and an immersive experience like that costs a lot of money to keep up.

How would I, armchair Disney Imagineer, have made the Galactic Starcruiser a better deal? Glad you asked!

  • A cheaper “sidecar” rate for a couple with a person like me, who’d go for 2 nights just to watch her guy be happy, but would duck out of the story line and show up for meals while WM became the Forciest Jedi known to man. I know I’m mixing space metaphors but let’s call this the “Redshirt” rate.
  • Include a costume per non-Redshirt guest. Right now you’d have to bring your own or buy one at an extra cost.
  • A custom lightsaber per non-Redshirt guest. Included.
  • Two Lightning Lane passes per person to not just the Disney Studios attractions, but every space-themed attraction in the parks: Rise of the Resistance, Smuggler’s Run, Star Tours, Guardians of the Galaxy, Space Mountain, Tron Lightcycle, and the AstroOrbiter. You’re paying for Space? YOU GET ALL OF THE SPACE.
  • Two free drinks at Oga’s cantina per person with a guaranteed seat. (We love Oga’s. We do not love having to stand at Oga’s.)
  • A Meet & Greet with a recognizable cast member from any of the Star Wars movies/TV shows. I’m not talking about 3rd Officer Boomba Troo or whatever. I want Pedro Pascal. I want Billy Dee Williams.
  • And finally, a Star Wars themed POOL. Can you imagine how cool that would be? Bill the water as being harvested from Uncle Owen’s (RIP) farm on Tattooine or something.
Kim in a Mickey Mouse hoodie weilding a lightsaber
Expert on the Star War I am. Listen to me you will.

Now that it’s closing, I hope that they do two things with the building.

  1. Add a dinner show, a half-day immersive experience, and a full-day immersive experience that you do NOT have to stay in the hotel to participate in. Picture a Hoop-Dee-R2 revue!
  2. Turn it into a hotel you can stay at without paying for an immersive experience. Without a pool and with it being so removed from the parks, it would have to be a value resort. If you add a really amazing pool and connect it to the Skyliner system you *could* cheat it up to a moderate resort.

Relatedly, I’m always looking for more Disney Park fansites/forums that are neither WDWNT nor Into the Magic and whose fanbase enjoys Disney and isn’t anti-change. Disney repainting a wall shouldn’t send a person into a talespin. Let me know if you’ve found this holy grail.

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