In praise of Itchy Bob

April 14, 2011

Come on, swing it.

I was at the Taco Bell drive-thru in the pouring rain a few nights ago because my day/week/month really sucked and only the $5 box would make it better. (I love the $5 Taco Bell Box – cheaper than most of the combos and more food than I can eat.) The cashier asked me to donate a dollar to support Graduate to Go. I wearily gave in because some good karma upon Casa Gypsy would be very welcome. And if I’m spending money on food somebody else cooked for me, I can spend an extra $1 for a kid at risk of dropping out of high school.

The celebrity spokesman for Graduate to Go is Mark Walhberg, whom I like because of his NKOTB connection, his lovely underwear ads of last century and the song Good Vibrations, which is part of my summer playlist.

As Marky Mark menacingly stared at me from the Taco Bell window I realized that while he brings the starpower, he’s probably not the BEST spokesperson for staying in school. Mark Wahlberg dropped out of high school and after a REALLY rough period of time*, evolved into a Hollywood super-player — an Oscar/Golden Globe/SAG nominated actor and producer — with a fat bankroll and gorgeous wife & family. So obviously, the lack of a high school education didn’t hold him back much at all. (Yes, he got a GED later, but I don’t think that opened any doors for him.)

I think a better spokesperson for staying in school would be “Itchy” Bob the hobo.

“Hi, I’m Robert. I dropped out of high school and now I live on the corner of Cuthbert Boulevard and Hampton Road. I bet if I stayed in school, the guys at the soup kitchen wouldn’t call me Itchy Bob. Please give $1 to this program and can I have half of your burrito?”

* Not defending Chris Brown at ALL, but look at Marky Mark’s past and tell me if people aren’t a BIT too angry/grudgy at Chris Brown.

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