Letter to myself, six months ago

Hey. You’re in a pretty bad place right now. You’ve never lived by yourself before. You’re scared and you feel alone. (You’re not alone, by the way, plenty of people have your back…you just don’t see them.)

I want you to know you’re going to be just fine. You’re going to pay all of your bills in a timely manner. You’re going to switch jobs and be exponentially happier. When someone asks a question of you, your first instinct won’t be to run away. Management isn’t you right now. Someday it might be again.

You will stop crying all the time. You’ll even smile and laugh again. I promise. The memory songs will never disappear from the radio, and you’ll be ambushed with memories from time to time, but you’ll get stronger and get through it.

You’re reading books again. You’re slowly training yourself to sit through movies at home. Right now you can’t sit still for more than 10 minutes at a DVD without falling asleep or getting nervous. That will change.

Your skin will clear up, you’re going to start touching up your brows every morning, and you’ll even find a very suitable new fragrance. Yeah…you’re carrying some more pounds again, but you’re dressing better and are on track to be a healthier person overall.

I have to close this letter now…I cooked meatballs in the crockpot overnight and need to pop them into containers. That’ll give me 4 meals, plus a bunch of gravy to freeze for future spaghetti dinners. (You are so impressed with that.) The hot rollers are done cooling, too. Time to scoop out the litterbox and go take on the day.

PS: That Philosophy class at the Adult School? Save your money. You’ll never be as bored as you are when your classmates are all over 65 and half of them can’t even read their own notes when they ask questions and the other half can’t remember that they already asked that question last class.

PPS: Trust me, as low as you feel right now, you’re handling things way better than Britney Spears.