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Friday 5: Straight no chaser

Happy June! Happy almost-summer! Sweet, sweet summer, my favorite time of year. Sunshine, corn, beer, and peaches for months. Bring it. (huffs Noxzema)

We’re going to go to the NJ Renaissance Fair this weekend. Today looks like misery out, so maybe we’ll aim for tomorrow. I could stand to pick up the house a bit, and we also need to come up with a solution for the gap in the back fences before Murphy finds it and heads for the hills. We have a stack of cinderblocks to keep Ollie in, but Murph’s a LOT leapier. I need to order a dress from eShakti for some fancy weddings I’m going to this summer. I’ve had my tape measure out for days and absolutely no desire to measure myself. eShakti is a good site, but shipping takes a while, so I need to get this ball rolling.

Yesterday in strange internet news, I was followed by 2 fake Twitter accounts. Both of them used pictures of Douglas Fraser as their profile picture. Is this … is this the way people think I can be catfished? By using silver fox retired military dudes? I’m not sure what to even think about that.

I also learned how to tell who watches your Snapchat stories. Handy info. I’ll keep an eye out for General Fraser (Ret).

***
Welcome to the Saturday version of the Friday 5! (womp womp) Last night I came home and an hour later went back out again to celebrate WM’s birthday with the family (postponed due to Vegas and food poisoning.) We each had ONE BEER and as a result, came home and passed out in the living room. Long live middle age!

This week’s Friday 5 theme is Straight No Chaser. Let’s get to it!

1. What keeps you on the straight and narrow?
Hm. That’s a toughie. I try to be a forthright person. I try to do the right thing, but when I mess up (and I do, often) I admit I was wrong, I apologize, and I fix it. I guess you could say that’s my personal code. That, and this:

2. Who in your life is a real straight shooter?
That would be WM. He’s a very honest dude.

3. How straight are your teeth and hair?
My upper teeth are straight and in very good shape except for the missing tooth. The tentative date for the end of my dental implant journey is June 26! I had impressions done on Tuesday for the crown. I don’t want to get excited but it will be so nice not to be wearing the flipper anymore. My lower teeth are an ugly nightmare, but at this point I have no interest in straightening them. No touchie the teeth.

My hair? Getting frizzier by the day. At least in the summer I can use the humidity excuse.

4. What’s a good song with the word straight in its lyrics or title?
Paula Abdul’s Straight Up. (Straight up now tell me are ya gonna love me forever? Oh oh oh…or are we stuck in a hit and run?)

5. What’s something that needs straightening?

My laundry situation. Cripes. We had a crazy couple of weeks and I am down to my undesirable underwear. That needs to change this weekend.

***
Happy weekend!

Friday 5: Over/Under

Happy Saturday! Listen, like one of those little capsules you put in a glass of water which grows into a large sponge dinosaur or a penis, Murphy has soaked up all of my spare time. By Friday nights, WM, Ollie, and I are completely tapped out.

It was a rough week, overall. This week was TNP’s Big!Annual!Meeting! and that’s an event that everyone plays a part in, even if it’s not your department and you don’t even go. It went well and that’s a relief. And WM took a tumble at work down a flight of stairs, bruising some ribs, hairline-breaking one rib, and bashing his wrist. He was home the rest of the week and he’s still in rough shape.

So you’re getting this on Saturday, unapologetically*, while the dogs snooze and while I drink my coffee.

This week’s Friday 5 theme is Over/Under. Let’s go!

1. What’s a film you consider overrated, and what’s a related or similar film you consider underrated?

Oooo. I am very much not a movie person. I can read books for hours and watch every WWE event that seeps onto the airwaves, but if you put me in a theater for 3 hours I have the worst time suspending disbelief. Here is my overrated movie bomb: The Wizard of Oz. I understand that for the year it was released, it was a technical marvel. And when I was growing up in the time before VCRs, the annual television showing was An Event Not To Be Missed.

Psht. I could have sent you home six hours ago but you just aren’t grateful enough for your awful life.


But how awful! Dorothy is a child with a shit life. She’s an orphan, her Aunt/Uncle kind of neglect her, and her dog’s about to be given away to the lying old bitch down the road. A tornado comes through and instead of mercifully killing her, she gets knocked out and sent to the land of Oz in her dream. Where, among terrifying flying monkeys, attempted murder, and a trip through an opium farm (did that make the DVD?), she’s completely played by the GOOD witch, who instead of having mercy on this poor little girl, decides Dorothy needs to appreciate her shit life just a bit more before she can be sent home to it. 0/10 depressing as hell. I don’t understand the worship.

The few films I enjoy are very well-rated, so…nothing there.

2. What’s overrated about the area in which you live, and what’s underrated about it?

That’s Senator Booker if you’re nasty.


What’s underrated about living in New Jersey? EVERYTHING! Listen, I’m an hour from the ocean, a 23 minute train-ride from Philadelphia, and about 2 hours from New York and DC. We have lakes, rivers, woods, farms AND amazing malls with every store imaginable. Yes, there are highways but you know what they do? GET ME WHERE I NEED TO GO. Our people are great. You want diversity? Come to Jersey, baby. The Governor is a knob, but one of our senators isn’t bad. The taxes are high, but my roads are pre-treated for snow before it comes, our schools are great, and we can wear leopard print like NO OTHER.

I rest my case.


Overrated? Bruce Springsteen. Just another rock star, singing about being working class while his daughter completes in equestrian events next to Athina Onassis. I blame this opinion on a vacation we took when I was a kid when Dad kept playing the Born in the USA cassette over and over and over and and over. I do like Hungry Heart, though

3. Whose talent or skill is overrated, and whose is underrated?

Hm. This could get mean, but I already crapped all over The Wizard of Oz so I figure I’m already on thin ice.

Overrated: Ivanka Trump AND Chelsea Clinton. Agree with them or not, they are both smart women. But I think that both of them need to get boots-on-the-ground jobs outside of their respective family’s sphere of influence before I can really start calling them advisers or influencers.

Underrated: Teachers. That’s a slam-dunk. You don’t know how much work they do until you’ve lived with them.

4. What item in the supermarket is overrated, and what’s underrated?

Overrated: La Croix. (with indulgent self-link.)

Underrated: Velveeta. Always Velveeta. It is the perfect golden-smooth treat. Melts great with rotel or salsa for tasty dips, makes the best grilled “cheese” sandwiches ever. Keep your brie, I’ll have Velveeta!

Truer words were never spoken.


5. What’s utterly terrific except for one or two things?

Walt Disney World! It’s the best place to have a vacation, but I think the move to planning everything in advance through the app makes it more difficult to enjoy yourself.

We’ll be back someday. Maybe next year.


***
That’s a wrap. This weekend we’ll be cheering outdoor pees, washing towels over and over again, and weeding gardens. If I’m feeling decadent, I’ll make myself a wine and Velveeta plate!

* Sorry!

Lok’tar Dog-ar!

A short while ago we purchased the fleecy Horde throw from Blizzard’s Spring Clearance sale. It was originally $70 (!) but I think we ended up paying less than $20 for it. It’s very fluffy and I said that we should save this for Murphy. This was before we had even started looking for him.

When he arrived, I tossed the blanket on the floor in the office and he took to it like a … dog to a soft blanket. He prefers the fleecy side to the microfiber side. Earlier this week while I was working from home, he was perfectly positioned near the Horde logo. I snapped a picture for Instagram and made sure to tag Blizzard.

Let’s all die from cuteness now.


And not long after, Blizzard responded on Twitter!

For the non Warcraft folk, “Lok’tar ogar is the Orc saying for Victory or Death!”

I love the Internet. I love that I can interact with the brands I like and they’ll interact back with me. And I love this stupid game I’ve been playing for the last 11 years.

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